9 June 2011, 14:53 CDT - Work and Wobbling

I'm not going to mention that I found Iron Man's stash of wine. Nope. Not gonna mention it. And I'm definitely not drinking it right now.

Maintenance duty's a bitch. When I say "maintenance," you think "engineering work" or something, right? Think, maid. I'm a maid. Very maidy. Cleaning. More like...maidtenance. So while I'm down or up or left or right on my hands and knees washing the floor or wall or ceiling or other wall, Iron Man's drinking out of his secret stash of wine that I didn't find and am not drinking.

Actually I won it from him in a game of cards, but I don't think he knows it yet. I'll be sure to tell him what he owes me. And then, oh no, no wine, what do I do? And I'll say, fuck off, because I drank it all already, except not right now.

Fucking hell. All the cameras are looking like eyes and the wires are looking like trees. I'm going fucking crazy. Or maybe it's just the alcohol. Which I'm not drinking.

Red October, over and out.

20 May, 2011, 22:54 CDT - Bereavement and Blame

We've just lost all of our observational data and about half of the rest of it. Houston, we have a problem, and Iron Man is pinning it all on me. As if I could tamper with it. They don't let me near the computers any more than they let me into Club Alpha back home.

Nonetheless, something's gone wrong here. The only video we've got left is just static. Static, static, static - hey, what's this? More static. Say - you there, nonexistent reader! Did you see anything funny during the Endeavor launch? Maybe something on the YouTube Q&A session? I was busy during most of it. Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, King of Games, doesn't know what happened either. Perhaps something suspicious in the background? And we've got no more wine. That was good stuff, while it lasted.

I had the same dream last night. Only this time the sun turned into a giant eyeball and its pupil into the silhouette of a tree. Looked very similar to the constellation-tree, really.

What's this, dalies and mentlegen? Iron Man has suggested that the problem is external. See you after my spacewalk, I suppose. I wouldn't be surprised if he disconnects me from the station, the bastard. Have I made that clear? Iron Man is a BASTARD.

Red October, over and out.

16 May, 2011, 20:47 CDT - Fussiness and Fun

Apparently I can't even roll out my punishment right. Iron Man has told me I should be using our call signs instead of our real names, so I've gone back and fixed that.

In better news, I found that deck of cards. They had gotten wedged behind one of our ansibles. No, we don't have faster-than-light communications - that's just what I like to call it, ever since I read Ender's Game. Although, now we don't have a rubber band to keep them together. In even better news, I beat Nosemeal, Bonesaw, and Curry Fan in a game of poker. Since we weren't actually betting anything, Iron Man's fine with it, which is good, or else I'd probably be the one punished and the others would get off scot-free. Not that I'm bitter or anything. I deserve it. I'm an asshole. And these guys are my crew. My friends. If they didn't do shit, why shouldn't I be the one in trouble? Besides the obvious fact that these punishments are ridiculous.

I had a dream last "night" where I just sank right through the walls and floors and floated out into space. Eventually I hit the sun and burned up. For a split second before I caught fire, the stars above me made a constellation that looked like an old, dead tree.

Red October, over and out.