Iron Man is telling me it's June 6 and not May 31. I'm telling Iron Man he's a total fucking idiot if he thinks I could have gone a whole week without even noticing it. Granted, it's quiet enough that there wouldn't be anything interesting to notice, but the piercing boredom would have constantly reminded me of exactly what time it is. Time slows to a fucking crawl when you're in space. Literally, too. Fuck. Okay. Let me think.
Last thing I remember is heading to my bunk to see what was messing around there. Then I wake up this morning and Iron Man tells me I'm on maintenance duty for a month because I shirked work for a week. Fuck you, Iron Man, it's only been a day (I tell him), and then he shows me the date on the computer. Fucking June 6. So I go along with it. Now I'm on maintenance duty. Making sure this piece of junk works. Like fucking clockwork. Goddamn clockwork. Clocks. Time. Clockwork. Damn. Fuck me.
Red October, over and out.
30 May, 2011, 12:43 CDT - Gloom and Gluttony
Yes, I ate your last chocolate truffle, Top Notch, but to be fair I didn't know it was yours and they are really good. Do you know how long it's been since I had a chocolate truffle? Or chocolate of any sort? Nine. Months. A whole nine months. Девять fucking месяцев! I could have had a kid in the time it took for me to find and eat a chocolate truffle.
The shadows around here are screwing up. Sometimes they're not there at all and sometimes everything looks like a spider or the branches of a dead tree and sometimes everything is covered in shadow. I'll be honest - I'm a little scared. Burning up on reentry? No big deal. Getting disconnected from the space station? Might be a fun trip. But shadows, man, shadows...these shadows. I'm not scared of the dark or anything, but these shadows are...they're something else.
Most of the computers are still pretty fucked up but I've scavenged a single scrap of video from the junk pile, as it were. All it shows is a dark trip through the halls of the station and about half a second of some guy in a suit. Again, I showed it to Nosemeal and he told me he doesn't even own a suit. He says the last time he ever needed one was for his father's sixth wedding - about six years ago, actually. I was there, too. Man, was that a fun night. I remember getting drunk as all hell and riding on the chandelier until it fell and set everything on fire. Damn. I wish I could have nights like that out here.
But that's right - we don't have nights at all.
Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, King of Games, is telling me there's something going on with my bunk. Not telling me literally, but there's a security feed here and even though it's dark as, well, outside, I can tell that there's something there. I'll check it out, I guess.
Red October, over and out.
The shadows around here are screwing up. Sometimes they're not there at all and sometimes everything looks like a spider or the branches of a dead tree and sometimes everything is covered in shadow. I'll be honest - I'm a little scared. Burning up on reentry? No big deal. Getting disconnected from the space station? Might be a fun trip. But shadows, man, shadows...these shadows. I'm not scared of the dark or anything, but these shadows are...they're something else.
Most of the computers are still pretty fucked up but I've scavenged a single scrap of video from the junk pile, as it were. All it shows is a dark trip through the halls of the station and about half a second of some guy in a suit. Again, I showed it to Nosemeal and he told me he doesn't even own a suit. He says the last time he ever needed one was for his father's sixth wedding - about six years ago, actually. I was there, too. Man, was that a fun night. I remember getting drunk as all hell and riding on the chandelier until it fell and set everything on fire. Damn. I wish I could have nights like that out here.
But that's right - we don't have nights at all.
Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, King of Games, is telling me there's something going on with my bunk. Not telling me literally, but there's a security feed here and even though it's dark as, well, outside, I can tell that there's something there. I'll check it out, I guess.
Red October, over and out.
27 May, 2011, 14:32 CDT - Sickness and Sport
Iron Man has caught a nasty cough, which is never a good sign on missions like ours. Technically we could force a quarantine so that we don't all get it, whatever it is, but we're not going to because he's pretty much the only one who knows what he's doing. Or is that only my opinion?
Bonesaw and I have been playing space tennis. Sort of. What we do is when we go out on a spacewalk we chuck the ball at the hull of the station and do our best to grab it when it comes back. So far we haven't lost a ball, but mostly because we've been throwing from about ten feet away. And we've got just two, so I'm not planning on taking any risks with the only entertainment I have left.
The cards are currently residing in my bunk and I am keeping them there because I do not like losing them. Despite my earlier claim of not having entertainment besides space tennis I also really like playing cards. And winning.
I had a dream again. Not the same one, but a creepy one all the same. The moon suddenly grew some kind of evil face and sucked in the, well, air. It made a black hole and we all got pulled in.
I could be in trouble for having bad dreams. I may not be fit for the job.
But fuck that. I'm the only sane man here.
Red October, over and out.
Bonesaw and I have been playing space tennis. Sort of. What we do is when we go out on a spacewalk we chuck the ball at the hull of the station and do our best to grab it when it comes back. So far we haven't lost a ball, but mostly because we've been throwing from about ten feet away. And we've got just two, so I'm not planning on taking any risks with the only entertainment I have left.
The cards are currently residing in my bunk and I am keeping them there because I do not like losing them. Despite my earlier claim of not having entertainment besides space tennis I also really like playing cards. And winning.
I had a dream again. Not the same one, but a creepy one all the same. The moon suddenly grew some kind of evil face and sucked in the, well, air. It made a black hole and we all got pulled in.
I could be in trouble for having bad dreams. I may not be fit for the job.
But fuck that. I'm the only sane man here.
Red October, over and out.
23 May, 2011, 20:30 CDT - Chess and Chafing
It's not quite what you think.
I twisted my ankle on the spacewalk. Don't ask me how, but I did. It's lucky I don't have goddamn hemophilia or I could be dead by now. No, twisting your ankle does not automatically constitute bleeding, but I was bleeding anyway.
On to the more important part. Just before I went to sleep last night, there was this really tall guy standing over me. I couldn't really see the details, but he might have been wearing a suit. Judging from the build I had guessed it was Nosemeal, but when I asked him about it the next day he told me it wasn't him. I asked the others and Iron Man suggested that it was a magical being from another dimension.
Fuck that. Science > magic any day.
If only my dad could see me typing that...he's rolling in his grave right about now.
All our data is still gone, by the way. Even the backup disk I installed got wiped. So we're basically screwed.
Red October, over and out.
I twisted my ankle on the spacewalk. Don't ask me how, but I did. It's lucky I don't have goddamn hemophilia or I could be dead by now. No, twisting your ankle does not automatically constitute bleeding, but I was bleeding anyway.
On to the more important part. Just before I went to sleep last night, there was this really tall guy standing over me. I couldn't really see the details, but he might have been wearing a suit. Judging from the build I had guessed it was Nosemeal, but when I asked him about it the next day he told me it wasn't him. I asked the others and Iron Man suggested that it was a magical being from another dimension.
Fuck that. Science > magic any day.
If only my dad could see me typing that...he's rolling in his grave right about now.
All our data is still gone, by the way. Even the backup disk I installed got wiped. So we're basically screwed.
Red October, over and out.
20 May, 2011, 22:54 CDT - Bereavement and Blame
We've just lost all of our observational data and about half of the rest of it. Houston, we have a problem, and Iron Man is pinning it all on me. As if I could tamper with it. They don't let me near the computers any more than they let me into Club Alpha back home.
Nonetheless, something's gone wrong here. The only video we've got left is just static. Static, static, static - hey, what's this? More static. Say - you there, nonexistent reader! Did you see anything funny during the Endeavor launch? Maybe something on the YouTube Q&A session? I was busy during most of it. Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, King of Games, doesn't know what happened either. Perhaps something suspicious in the background? And we've got no more wine. That was good stuff, while it lasted.
I had the same dream last night. Only this time the sun turned into a giant eyeball and its pupil into the silhouette of a tree. Looked very similar to the constellation-tree, really.
What's this, dalies and mentlegen? Iron Man has suggested that the problem is external. See you after my spacewalk, I suppose. I wouldn't be surprised if he disconnects me from the station, the bastard. Have I made that clear? Iron Man is a BASTARD.
Red October, over and out.
19 May, 2011, 20:25 CDT - Browsing and Bullets
The station is calling me paranoid.
This I know because I am giving it a voice and that voice is telling me I am being paranoid.
I have named the voice Bentley Darryn, after my alcoholic father, and it will be my squishie. I take that back - I have rechristened the voice Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, King of Games, (in honor of my father), and now it will be my squishie. Or...my shippie. Or my stationy? In any case, besides faking schizophrenia, I have also spent some time both skimming and perusing some depressing comics, such as Buni and C&H for starters. These horrible artists make me feel better about my own assholism.
In my delectable (or should that be detestable?) search for horror and disgust, I have found 'shopped (obviously) pictures of ghosts, demon wolves, and the like. Considering that I, like before, have nothing to do aboard Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, I am going to continue looking for these pictures until I find something that actually frightens me. Or makes me go, "Wow, great work," or, "This is the bee's knees."
Huh. Those links remind me of House of Leaves. Aha! You can't tell what's a link and what's not, can you? Well, I'll tell you: "House" is not, the other two are.
Yeah, I've bitched about having to blog, but I think I'm starting to like it.
In a very fast turn-around of events, the cards are lost again. I already checked the ansible, so don't suggest that. Who the hell am I talking to?
That's my two bits for today.
Red October, over and out.
This I know because I am giving it a voice and that voice is telling me I am being paranoid.
I have named the voice Bentley Darryn, after my alcoholic father, and it will be my squishie. I take that back - I have rechristened the voice Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, King of Games, (in honor of my father), and now it will be my squishie. Or...my shippie. Or my stationy? In any case, besides faking schizophrenia, I have also spent some time both skimming and perusing some depressing comics, such as Buni and C&H for starters. These horrible artists make me feel better about my own assholism.
In my delectable (or should that be detestable?) search for horror and disgust, I have found 'shopped (obviously) pictures of ghosts, demon wolves, and the like. Considering that I, like before, have nothing to do aboard Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, I am going to continue looking for these pictures until I find something that actually frightens me. Or makes me go, "Wow, great work," or, "This is the bee's knees."
Huh. Those links remind me of House of Leaves. Aha! You can't tell what's a link and what's not, can you? Well, I'll tell you: "House" is not, the other two are.
Yeah, I've bitched about having to blog, but I think I'm starting to like it.
In a very fast turn-around of events, the cards are lost again. I already checked the ansible, so don't suggest that. Who the hell am I talking to?
That's my two bits for today.
Red October, over and out.
16 May, 2011, 20:47 CDT - Fussiness and Fun
Apparently I can't even roll out my punishment right. Iron Man has told me I should be using our call signs instead of our real names, so I've gone back and fixed that.
In better news, I found that deck of cards. They had gotten wedged behind one of our ansibles. No, we don't have faster-than-light communications - that's just what I like to call it, ever since I read Ender's Game. Although, now we don't have a rubber band to keep them together. In even better news, I beat Nosemeal, Bonesaw, and Curry Fan in a game of poker. Since we weren't actually betting anything, Iron Man's fine with it, which is good, or else I'd probably be the one punished and the others would get off scot-free. Not that I'm bitter or anything. I deserve it. I'm an asshole. And these guys are my crew. My friends. If they didn't do shit, why shouldn't I be the one in trouble? Besides the obvious fact that these punishments are ridiculous.
I had a dream last "night" where I just sank right through the walls and floors and floated out into space. Eventually I hit the sun and burned up. For a split second before I caught fire, the stars above me made a constellation that looked like an old, dead tree.
Red October, over and out.
In better news, I found that deck of cards. They had gotten wedged behind one of our ansibles. No, we don't have faster-than-light communications - that's just what I like to call it, ever since I read Ender's Game. Although, now we don't have a rubber band to keep them together. In even better news, I beat Nosemeal, Bonesaw, and Curry Fan in a game of poker. Since we weren't actually betting anything, Iron Man's fine with it, which is good, or else I'd probably be the one punished and the others would get off scot-free. Not that I'm bitter or anything. I deserve it. I'm an asshole. And these guys are my crew. My friends. If they didn't do shit, why shouldn't I be the one in trouble? Besides the obvious fact that these punishments are ridiculous.
I had a dream last "night" where I just sank right through the walls and floors and floated out into space. Eventually I hit the sun and burned up. For a split second before I caught fire, the stars above me made a constellation that looked like an old, dead tree.
Red October, over and out.
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