All the rest of our shit that we lost, we've got back. Videos, pics, a few audio files, and it's all untouched. Haven't seen anyone but Iron Man since last post. Been staying with him in his room trying to get him to talk. He won't talk. Well, he mumbles. Says shit about the sun and black holes and all kinds of the so-called frightening things they drill into your head when you're in the third grade and you say you want to be an astronaut. Or was that me drilling it into the other kids' heads? Either way I'm not having a good time. Reading Stephen Hawking was more entertaining.
Red October, over and out.
14 July 2011, 12:52 CDT - Roaring and Returns
I've gotten maybe four hours of sleep in as many days. There's this insane, huge-ass roaring noise coming from somewhere on the station. (Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, must have had some bad chili.) It almost sounds mechanical, like gears grinding, but I can't think where we stored a couple eight-hundred-ton gears. It's keeping me up at night. And the rest of the crew, too, except Nosemeal, who's basically in a coma. I don't think it's any kind of medical issue; he's just locked down from fear.
And Iron Man's been returned to us. He looks, uh, not that bad, actually, except for one tiny little flaw in the overall image of perfection. His eyes. They're gone. Not clean empty black sockets where his eyes should be like you see in the movies, but like someone took a chainsaw to his skull and ripped out his eyes. The scary part is, from what he's frantically mumbling and the way his hands are trembling, I think he gouged them out himself. Meaning that there's some serious shit hitting some serious fans right now.
Huh. Maybe the noise is coming from a big old fan?
Red October, over and out.
And Iron Man's been returned to us. He looks, uh, not that bad, actually, except for one tiny little flaw in the overall image of perfection. His eyes. They're gone. Not clean empty black sockets where his eyes should be like you see in the movies, but like someone took a chainsaw to his skull and ripped out his eyes. The scary part is, from what he's frantically mumbling and the way his hands are trembling, I think he gouged them out himself. Meaning that there's some serious shit hitting some serious fans right now.
Huh. Maybe the noise is coming from a big old fan?
Red October, over and out.
3 July 2011, 22:11 CDT - Cheats and Charts
Did you know that if you give every letter a numerical value, take the sums of all our call signs, and pair them up as points - Nosemeal with Bonesaw, Curry Fan with Iron Man, and Red October with Top Notch - and then graph it, it makes a smiley face?
You didn't? Good, because it's not true. Maybe it is; I haven't tried. I'm just fucking with you. Mostly to get my mind off of things.
Fuck. It's times like this I really wish I hadn't faked my way through school. And you know what? I don't care who knows. I'm stuck up here, now. They can't punish me without communications. They can't punish me if they can't even get their voice through.
Red October, over and out.
You didn't? Good, because it's not true. Maybe it is; I haven't tried. I'm just fucking with you. Mostly to get my mind off of things.
Fuck. It's times like this I really wish I hadn't faked my way through school. And you know what? I don't care who knows. I'm stuck up here, now. They can't punish me without communications. They can't punish me if they can't even get their voice through.
Red October, over and out.
2 July, 2011, 10:58 CDT - Tricks and Traps
It's been a tenday since I posted, but not because I blacked out. Iron Man has completely disappeared. All our cameras are shut down and the only thing we're getting by way of communications is static. Nosemeal is laying in his bunk, curled up and whimpering. Bonesaw and Curry Fan are about as calm as I am - or should I say sane? But they're devoting their attentions to keeping this hunk of junk metal running. Lastly, Top Notch is trying to get in contact with someone. That leaves me to look for Iron Man.
We know he's still on board, because things are being moved and food being eaten that the rest of us didn't do. There's also the matter of this weird guy in a suit possibly being around, but I'm not sure that he's not just a figment of my imagination. I've asked Bonesaw, Curry Fan, and Top Notch, but they swear they've never seen him. Nosemeal is too panicked to talk, and obviously I can't question Iron Man.
Sheesh. I always wanted to be an astronaut, but holy fuck...Я не подписаться на это.
Red October, over and out.
22 June, 2011, 18:21 CDT - Recovery and Righteousness
Yesterday was the summer solstice. The longest day of the year.
We got something.
All that lost video - well, actually, most of it is still lost. But yesterday, at around six in the afternoon, Curry Fan dug deep enough into the systems and pulled out a file. The tape's timestamp was for six o'clock exactly. It lasts for about ten seconds. It starts out in complete blackness. Cuts to the moon. Didn't look like a familiar area to me, but I haven't been on the moon. Someone else has, apparently.
Yeah, that's right. Some fucker was standing on the fucking moon. Or that's what it looked like, anyway. Camera didn't give a clear shot, so it honestly seemed more like an ink smear than a person. But I could've sworn that it was some guy wearing a suit.
And fucking Nosemeal's praying for salvation.
Red October, over and out.
We got something.
All that lost video - well, actually, most of it is still lost. But yesterday, at around six in the afternoon, Curry Fan dug deep enough into the systems and pulled out a file. The tape's timestamp was for six o'clock exactly. It lasts for about ten seconds. It starts out in complete blackness. Cuts to the moon. Didn't look like a familiar area to me, but I haven't been on the moon. Someone else has, apparently.
Yeah, that's right. Some fucker was standing on the fucking moon. Or that's what it looked like, anyway. Camera didn't give a clear shot, so it honestly seemed more like an ink smear than a person. But I could've sworn that it was some guy wearing a suit.
And fucking Nosemeal's praying for salvation.
Red October, over and out.
15 June 2011, 15:40 CDT - Quarantine and Quarks
Iron Man's wine was laced with trace elements of some seriously bad drugs. Not that I would know. I didn't drink it, after all. I'm actually not sure what was in it, but he was acting really aggravated and strange when he found out made the incorrect assumption that I drank it. Luckily, he can't make an official accusation, because how could I have stolen something that isn't supposed to exist? After all, Gell-Mann walked around with thousands of quarks in his pocket and never got accused of kidnapping.
Speaking of Iron Man, he started vomiting something awful, and so we've quarantined him. He's not like any kind of prisoner, for those of you who don't know what quarantine is. We're just making sure that when he needs to puke he can do it somewhere else where it won't get on us. Unfortunately, he's going a bit loopy. He's flailing around and screaming and scratching at the walls. Someone gave him a pencil and piece of paper and he covered it with the weirdest scribbles. Obviously it's not a simple cold or anything. We took samples (blood, bile...other...) and we should have some kind of result within a few days. I don't give a rat's ass about it, really, but this problem with Iron Man is distracting us from our assigned work. We still haven't radioed in and rattled off about the problem, because of the possible consequences.
Hey...if Iron Man isn't going to be checking anymore, can't I just stop blogging? Ah, like I said, I'm enjoying it. Lets me not give a fuck without getting in trouble for it.
Red October, over and out.
Speaking of Iron Man, he started vomiting something awful, and so we've quarantined him. He's not like any kind of prisoner, for those of you who don't know what quarantine is. We're just making sure that when he needs to puke he can do it somewhere else where it won't get on us. Unfortunately, he's going a bit loopy. He's flailing around and screaming and scratching at the walls. Someone gave him a pencil and piece of paper and he covered it with the weirdest scribbles. Obviously it's not a simple cold or anything. We took samples (blood, bile...other...) and we should have some kind of result within a few days. I don't give a rat's ass about it, really, but this problem with Iron Man is distracting us from our assigned work. We still haven't radioed in and rattled off about the problem, because of the possible consequences.
Hey...if Iron Man isn't going to be checking anymore, can't I just stop blogging? Ah, like I said, I'm enjoying it. Lets me not give a fuck without getting in trouble for it.
Red October, over and out.
9 June 2011, 14:53 CDT - Work and Wobbling
I'm not going to mention that I found Iron Man's stash of wine. Nope. Not gonna mention it. And I'm definitely not drinking it right now.
Maintenance duty's a bitch. When I say "maintenance," you think "engineering work" or something, right? Think, maid. I'm a maid. Very maidy. Cleaning. More like...maidtenance. So while I'm down or up or left or right on my hands and knees washing the floor or wall or ceiling or other wall, Iron Man's drinking out of his secret stash of wine that I didn't find and am not drinking.
Actually I won it from him in a game of cards, but I don't think he knows it yet. I'll be sure to tell him what he owes me. And then, oh no, no wine, what do I do? And I'll say, fuck off, because I drank it all already, except not right now.
Fucking hell. All the cameras are looking like eyes and the wires are looking like trees. I'm going fucking crazy. Or maybe it's just the alcohol. Which I'm not drinking.
Red October, over and out.
Maintenance duty's a bitch. When I say "maintenance," you think "engineering work" or something, right? Think, maid. I'm a maid. Very maidy. Cleaning. More like...maidtenance. So while I'm down or up or left or right on my hands and knees washing the floor or wall or ceiling or other wall, Iron Man's drinking out of his secret stash of wine that I didn't find and am not drinking.
Actually I won it from him in a game of cards, but I don't think he knows it yet. I'll be sure to tell him what he owes me. And then, oh no, no wine, what do I do? And I'll say, fuck off, because I drank it all already, except not right now.
Fucking hell. All the cameras are looking like eyes and the wires are looking like trees. I'm going fucking crazy. Or maybe it's just the alcohol. Which I'm not drinking.
Red October, over and out.
6 June 2011, 19:07 CDT - Time and Trouble
Iron Man is telling me it's June 6 and not May 31. I'm telling Iron Man he's a total fucking idiot if he thinks I could have gone a whole week without even noticing it. Granted, it's quiet enough that there wouldn't be anything interesting to notice, but the piercing boredom would have constantly reminded me of exactly what time it is. Time slows to a fucking crawl when you're in space. Literally, too. Fuck. Okay. Let me think.
Last thing I remember is heading to my bunk to see what was messing around there. Then I wake up this morning and Iron Man tells me I'm on maintenance duty for a month because I shirked work for a week. Fuck you, Iron Man, it's only been a day (I tell him), and then he shows me the date on the computer. Fucking June 6. So I go along with it. Now I'm on maintenance duty. Making sure this piece of junk works. Like fucking clockwork. Goddamn clockwork. Clocks. Time. Clockwork. Damn. Fuck me.
Red October, over and out.
Last thing I remember is heading to my bunk to see what was messing around there. Then I wake up this morning and Iron Man tells me I'm on maintenance duty for a month because I shirked work for a week. Fuck you, Iron Man, it's only been a day (I tell him), and then he shows me the date on the computer. Fucking June 6. So I go along with it. Now I'm on maintenance duty. Making sure this piece of junk works. Like fucking clockwork. Goddamn clockwork. Clocks. Time. Clockwork. Damn. Fuck me.
Red October, over and out.
30 May, 2011, 12:43 CDT - Gloom and Gluttony
Yes, I ate your last chocolate truffle, Top Notch, but to be fair I didn't know it was yours and they are really good. Do you know how long it's been since I had a chocolate truffle? Or chocolate of any sort? Nine. Months. A whole nine months. Девять fucking месяцев! I could have had a kid in the time it took for me to find and eat a chocolate truffle.
The shadows around here are screwing up. Sometimes they're not there at all and sometimes everything looks like a spider or the branches of a dead tree and sometimes everything is covered in shadow. I'll be honest - I'm a little scared. Burning up on reentry? No big deal. Getting disconnected from the space station? Might be a fun trip. But shadows, man, shadows...these shadows. I'm not scared of the dark or anything, but these shadows are...they're something else.
Most of the computers are still pretty fucked up but I've scavenged a single scrap of video from the junk pile, as it were. All it shows is a dark trip through the halls of the station and about half a second of some guy in a suit. Again, I showed it to Nosemeal and he told me he doesn't even own a suit. He says the last time he ever needed one was for his father's sixth wedding - about six years ago, actually. I was there, too. Man, was that a fun night. I remember getting drunk as all hell and riding on the chandelier until it fell and set everything on fire. Damn. I wish I could have nights like that out here.
But that's right - we don't have nights at all.
Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, King of Games, is telling me there's something going on with my bunk. Not telling me literally, but there's a security feed here and even though it's dark as, well, outside, I can tell that there's something there. I'll check it out, I guess.
Red October, over and out.
The shadows around here are screwing up. Sometimes they're not there at all and sometimes everything looks like a spider or the branches of a dead tree and sometimes everything is covered in shadow. I'll be honest - I'm a little scared. Burning up on reentry? No big deal. Getting disconnected from the space station? Might be a fun trip. But shadows, man, shadows...these shadows. I'm not scared of the dark or anything, but these shadows are...they're something else.
Most of the computers are still pretty fucked up but I've scavenged a single scrap of video from the junk pile, as it were. All it shows is a dark trip through the halls of the station and about half a second of some guy in a suit. Again, I showed it to Nosemeal and he told me he doesn't even own a suit. He says the last time he ever needed one was for his father's sixth wedding - about six years ago, actually. I was there, too. Man, was that a fun night. I remember getting drunk as all hell and riding on the chandelier until it fell and set everything on fire. Damn. I wish I could have nights like that out here.
But that's right - we don't have nights at all.
Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, King of Games, is telling me there's something going on with my bunk. Not telling me literally, but there's a security feed here and even though it's dark as, well, outside, I can tell that there's something there. I'll check it out, I guess.
Red October, over and out.
27 May, 2011, 14:32 CDT - Sickness and Sport
Iron Man has caught a nasty cough, which is never a good sign on missions like ours. Technically we could force a quarantine so that we don't all get it, whatever it is, but we're not going to because he's pretty much the only one who knows what he's doing. Or is that only my opinion?
Bonesaw and I have been playing space tennis. Sort of. What we do is when we go out on a spacewalk we chuck the ball at the hull of the station and do our best to grab it when it comes back. So far we haven't lost a ball, but mostly because we've been throwing from about ten feet away. And we've got just two, so I'm not planning on taking any risks with the only entertainment I have left.
The cards are currently residing in my bunk and I am keeping them there because I do not like losing them. Despite my earlier claim of not having entertainment besides space tennis I also really like playing cards. And winning.
I had a dream again. Not the same one, but a creepy one all the same. The moon suddenly grew some kind of evil face and sucked in the, well, air. It made a black hole and we all got pulled in.
I could be in trouble for having bad dreams. I may not be fit for the job.
But fuck that. I'm the only sane man here.
Red October, over and out.
Bonesaw and I have been playing space tennis. Sort of. What we do is when we go out on a spacewalk we chuck the ball at the hull of the station and do our best to grab it when it comes back. So far we haven't lost a ball, but mostly because we've been throwing from about ten feet away. And we've got just two, so I'm not planning on taking any risks with the only entertainment I have left.
The cards are currently residing in my bunk and I am keeping them there because I do not like losing them. Despite my earlier claim of not having entertainment besides space tennis I also really like playing cards. And winning.
I had a dream again. Not the same one, but a creepy one all the same. The moon suddenly grew some kind of evil face and sucked in the, well, air. It made a black hole and we all got pulled in.
I could be in trouble for having bad dreams. I may not be fit for the job.
But fuck that. I'm the only sane man here.
Red October, over and out.
23 May, 2011, 20:30 CDT - Chess and Chafing
It's not quite what you think.
I twisted my ankle on the spacewalk. Don't ask me how, but I did. It's lucky I don't have goddamn hemophilia or I could be dead by now. No, twisting your ankle does not automatically constitute bleeding, but I was bleeding anyway.
On to the more important part. Just before I went to sleep last night, there was this really tall guy standing over me. I couldn't really see the details, but he might have been wearing a suit. Judging from the build I had guessed it was Nosemeal, but when I asked him about it the next day he told me it wasn't him. I asked the others and Iron Man suggested that it was a magical being from another dimension.
Fuck that. Science > magic any day.
If only my dad could see me typing that...he's rolling in his grave right about now.
All our data is still gone, by the way. Even the backup disk I installed got wiped. So we're basically screwed.
Red October, over and out.
I twisted my ankle on the spacewalk. Don't ask me how, but I did. It's lucky I don't have goddamn hemophilia or I could be dead by now. No, twisting your ankle does not automatically constitute bleeding, but I was bleeding anyway.
On to the more important part. Just before I went to sleep last night, there was this really tall guy standing over me. I couldn't really see the details, but he might have been wearing a suit. Judging from the build I had guessed it was Nosemeal, but when I asked him about it the next day he told me it wasn't him. I asked the others and Iron Man suggested that it was a magical being from another dimension.
Fuck that. Science > magic any day.
If only my dad could see me typing that...he's rolling in his grave right about now.
All our data is still gone, by the way. Even the backup disk I installed got wiped. So we're basically screwed.
Red October, over and out.
20 May, 2011, 22:54 CDT - Bereavement and Blame
We've just lost all of our observational data and about half of the rest of it. Houston, we have a problem, and Iron Man is pinning it all on me. As if I could tamper with it. They don't let me near the computers any more than they let me into Club Alpha back home.
Nonetheless, something's gone wrong here. The only video we've got left is just static. Static, static, static - hey, what's this? More static. Say - you there, nonexistent reader! Did you see anything funny during the Endeavor launch? Maybe something on the YouTube Q&A session? I was busy during most of it. Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, King of Games, doesn't know what happened either. Perhaps something suspicious in the background? And we've got no more wine. That was good stuff, while it lasted.
I had the same dream last night. Only this time the sun turned into a giant eyeball and its pupil into the silhouette of a tree. Looked very similar to the constellation-tree, really.
What's this, dalies and mentlegen? Iron Man has suggested that the problem is external. See you after my spacewalk, I suppose. I wouldn't be surprised if he disconnects me from the station, the bastard. Have I made that clear? Iron Man is a BASTARD.
Red October, over and out.
19 May, 2011, 20:25 CDT - Browsing and Bullets
The station is calling me paranoid.
This I know because I am giving it a voice and that voice is telling me I am being paranoid.
I have named the voice Bentley Darryn, after my alcoholic father, and it will be my squishie. I take that back - I have rechristened the voice Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, King of Games, (in honor of my father), and now it will be my squishie. Or...my shippie. Or my stationy? In any case, besides faking schizophrenia, I have also spent some time both skimming and perusing some depressing comics, such as Buni and C&H for starters. These horrible artists make me feel better about my own assholism.
In my delectable (or should that be detestable?) search for horror and disgust, I have found 'shopped (obviously) pictures of ghosts, demon wolves, and the like. Considering that I, like before, have nothing to do aboard Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, I am going to continue looking for these pictures until I find something that actually frightens me. Or makes me go, "Wow, great work," or, "This is the bee's knees."
Huh. Those links remind me of House of Leaves. Aha! You can't tell what's a link and what's not, can you? Well, I'll tell you: "House" is not, the other two are.
Yeah, I've bitched about having to blog, but I think I'm starting to like it.
In a very fast turn-around of events, the cards are lost again. I already checked the ansible, so don't suggest that. Who the hell am I talking to?
That's my two bits for today.
Red October, over and out.
This I know because I am giving it a voice and that voice is telling me I am being paranoid.
I have named the voice Bentley Darryn, after my alcoholic father, and it will be my squishie. I take that back - I have rechristened the voice Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, King of Games, (in honor of my father), and now it will be my squishie. Or...my shippie. Or my stationy? In any case, besides faking schizophrenia, I have also spent some time both skimming and perusing some depressing comics, such as Buni and C&H for starters. These horrible artists make me feel better about my own assholism.
In my delectable (or should that be detestable?) search for horror and disgust, I have found 'shopped (obviously) pictures of ghosts, demon wolves, and the like. Considering that I, like before, have nothing to do aboard Platinum DJ Bentley D, MC, PhD, I am going to continue looking for these pictures until I find something that actually frightens me. Or makes me go, "Wow, great work," or, "This is the bee's knees."
Huh. Those links remind me of House of Leaves. Aha! You can't tell what's a link and what's not, can you? Well, I'll tell you: "House" is not, the other two are.
Yeah, I've bitched about having to blog, but I think I'm starting to like it.
In a very fast turn-around of events, the cards are lost again. I already checked the ansible, so don't suggest that. Who the hell am I talking to?
That's my two bits for today.
Red October, over and out.
16 May, 2011, 20:47 CDT - Fussiness and Fun
Apparently I can't even roll out my punishment right. Iron Man has told me I should be using our call signs instead of our real names, so I've gone back and fixed that.
In better news, I found that deck of cards. They had gotten wedged behind one of our ansibles. No, we don't have faster-than-light communications - that's just what I like to call it, ever since I read Ender's Game. Although, now we don't have a rubber band to keep them together. In even better news, I beat Nosemeal, Bonesaw, and Curry Fan in a game of poker. Since we weren't actually betting anything, Iron Man's fine with it, which is good, or else I'd probably be the one punished and the others would get off scot-free. Not that I'm bitter or anything. I deserve it. I'm an asshole. And these guys are my crew. My friends. If they didn't do shit, why shouldn't I be the one in trouble? Besides the obvious fact that these punishments are ridiculous.
I had a dream last "night" where I just sank right through the walls and floors and floated out into space. Eventually I hit the sun and burned up. For a split second before I caught fire, the stars above me made a constellation that looked like an old, dead tree.
Red October, over and out.
In better news, I found that deck of cards. They had gotten wedged behind one of our ansibles. No, we don't have faster-than-light communications - that's just what I like to call it, ever since I read Ender's Game. Although, now we don't have a rubber band to keep them together. In even better news, I beat Nosemeal, Bonesaw, and Curry Fan in a game of poker. Since we weren't actually betting anything, Iron Man's fine with it, which is good, or else I'd probably be the one punished and the others would get off scot-free. Not that I'm bitter or anything. I deserve it. I'm an asshole. And these guys are my crew. My friends. If they didn't do shit, why shouldn't I be the one in trouble? Besides the obvious fact that these punishments are ridiculous.
I had a dream last "night" where I just sank right through the walls and floors and floated out into space. Eventually I hit the sun and burned up. For a split second before I caught fire, the stars above me made a constellation that looked like an old, dead tree.
Red October, over and out.
14 May, 2011, 18:35 CDT - Penance and Preliminaries
The simple fact that they're making me write a blog to make amends should tell you enough about the ослы I work with. There's some Russian for ya. More or less. Dad never taught me much of it. He was always busy drinking. Turned out well for him when he crashed his Ford, didn't it?
Yes, I managed to sneak some illegal (at least up here) substances on board. No, it's not deadly contraband. Yes, I suppose I shouldn't have done it. No, I don't think I deserve this.
At least there's a good signal. There would have to be, or else I'd be stuck doing something horrible, like - oh, wait, there's fucking nothing to do in this place. Even the single deck of cards we had were lost long ago. It's not easy to lose something, anything, either, in as cramped a place as we're in, especially not something that is actually fifty-two things prone to floating and with bright red backs. My only remnant of those cards is the rubber band, and even that's stretched to its limit. I take that back - it just broke. Right before I let fly, too. Bonesaw hates it when you throw things at her, and hates it even more when you're flinging those things out of a rubber band.
Well, I suppose Iron Man will check up on me every few days. Hope this is sufficient, bastard.
Red October, over and out.
Yes, I managed to sneak some illegal (at least up here) substances on board. No, it's not deadly contraband. Yes, I suppose I shouldn't have done it. No, I don't think I deserve this.
At least there's a good signal. There would have to be, or else I'd be stuck doing something horrible, like - oh, wait, there's fucking nothing to do in this place. Even the single deck of cards we had were lost long ago. It's not easy to lose something, anything, either, in as cramped a place as we're in, especially not something that is actually fifty-two things prone to floating and with bright red backs. My only remnant of those cards is the rubber band, and even that's stretched to its limit. I take that back - it just broke. Right before I let fly, too. Bonesaw hates it when you throw things at her, and hates it even more when you're flinging those things out of a rubber band.
Well, I suppose Iron Man will check up on me every few days. Hope this is sufficient, bastard.
Red October, over and out.
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